Family, Loss & Grief

Visits From The Other Side

Ever since Grandma died, I’ve been waiting and looking for signs that she is still somehow around me.  I’ve read a lot about the spirit world over the years, and some of the information I’ve heard and read has come from well known spiritual mediums who are able to make contact with the dead and have inside knowledge of how they operate.

One of the most common ways for deceased loved ones to make contact with the living is to appear in their dreams while they are sleeping.  The reason why spirits often come to us in our sleep is because we are in an “in-between place” between earthly reality and the spiritual realm, and it takes the least amount of energy for a spirit to show themselves to us while we are in that altered state.  By contrast, it takes a tremendous amount of energy for a spirit to speak out loud or materialize into a physical form that can be seen by the naked eye while awake.

I remember when Grandma first came to visit me nearly a year ago.  I already knew that dead people commonly visit their loved ones in dreams, and I waited and wondered if Grandma would ever make contact with me in my sleep from the Other Side.  It took several months after her death for her to begin visiting me, but her first visit with me in my sleep was a very powerful and intense one.  In that first dream visit, she very pointedly addressed my grief I had been dealing with over her sudden departure and let me know that she was indeed still looking out for me and helping me from behind the scenes, just like she always did when she was alive.

Now she visits me nearly every night in my sleep.  She’s been visiting me with such regular frequency lately that I now look forward to going to sleep every night because I’m so eager to see and talk to her.  I can’t get over how utterly VIVID these dreams of her are!!!  The dreams in which she comes to visit me aren’t like my other usual dreams.  These particular dreams with her are far more real than dream-like.  Unlike normal dreams where I have no control over what happens and it’s like I’m watching a movie play out, I am actually halfway conscious in the dreams in which Grandma comes to visit me and I have full control over my words and actions.  I actually have conversations with Grandma in these dreams in which I am consciously able to choose my words and ask/answer questions of her.  Oftentimes I get very emotional while I am talking with her and begin crying…..and when I awake I find that I have actually been crying in my sleep.

When Grandma comes to visit me in my sleep, the dreams almost always take place at our family home.  Our house was sold to outsiders after Grandma’s death, but the house is always restored to the way I remember it in these dreams.  Of course, I totally understand why Grandma would choose our beloved home as the setting for our dream meetings.  That was our home, our sanctuary, and the place where we were all the happiest and connected as a family.

When I have these vivid dreams of Grandma, I am aware that she is deceased and is in a spirit form.  But what I find odd is that in many of these dreams Grandma is supposed to be alive.  Although I don’t recall being told so, I somehow understand that in these dreams Grandma has temporarily come back from the dead in order to spend some more time with us and that we as a family have been granted this “Second Chance” from some higher power.

The second time she came to visit me in my sleep, I was somehow aware of this Second Chance.  In that dream, I vividly recall walking into her bedroom and seeing her standing on the stepladder hanging something up on the wall.  In a lecturing tone, I said to her “Now Grandma, I know you won’t agree with this, but the rest of the family and I have discussed this and we’re going to be doing all of your house work for you from now on. We are lucky to have been given this second chance to have you here with us again, and we don’t want you wearing yourself down. We want to hang onto you for as long as we can this time.”  She just chuckled and said “Oh really?” in her familiar voice.

In another dream where I was sitting down and chatting with Grandma, we were inside of some type of crowded public office instead of our home.  But what I remember most vividly about this particular dream was when she looked away from me and pointed across the room and said “Look, Grandpa is here too!”  I looked in the direction where she was pointing, and through the moving people I saw Grandpa standing next to a wall in his denim overalls.  He didn’t say anything, he just smiled and sheepishly waved at me just like he always used to do when he was alive.  This was the first time in the eight years since he died that Grandpa had ever really visited me in my sleep.  It made perfect sense to me that Grandpa would quietly stay off to the side while Grandma made all of the communication with me, because that’s the way it was when they were alive.  Although Grandpa loved me, I was much closer with Grandma than I was with him.  I was shocked and saddened when he suddenly passed away in 2008, but his death didn’t affect me nearly as much as Grandma’s did.  Her death was like the end of the world to me.

A few nights ago I had a painfully vivid dream where I was having another sit-down conversation with Grandma.  This took place at our house, as usual, and there were many other people present as well.  It was a cook-out dinner gathering. This dream was VERY vivid and realistic.  I had a very high degree of conscious awareness in this dream, and I was able to deliberate every word I said to Grandma.  Once again, she was temporarily alive again, and I believe this dinner gathering was in celebration of her coming back to us from the dead.  I recall telling her about how some of my close friends from high school and college came to her funeral visitation to pay their respects to her.  I explained to her that they came because they cared about me and also because they always liked her.  She smiled and nodded at that with a look of real gratitude on her face and said “Well that was nice of them“….exactly the way she would have said it when she was alive.

Then she began to lecture me about how I had been withdrawing into myself way too much lately and how I had purposely shut myself off from dating anyone this past year.  I became very frustrated at this, and I forcefully told her how I was utterly sick of dealing with most people’s idiotic behavior anymore (which would be an entirely other blog post in itself).  I was so vividly conscious during this conversation that I can recall myself thinking and carefully choosing my every word when I answered her.  She responded by giving me her well known sharp frown and telling me, “You need to TRY!!”  I became so upset at this point that I began to cry.  As I was formulating another response to this, one of the dinner guests and their child suddenly sat down at the table between Grandma and I and interrupted our conversation.  That’s when I woke up, still sobbing from my dream.  I was disappointed that our conversation had been rudely interrupted, but I guess that was Grandma’s way of telling me, “I don’t want to hear anymore arguing about this; I have spoken!

Then there was one particular dream that spooked the Hell out of me when I awoke.  Once again, I was back at our family home and Grandma was temporarily alive again.  The entire family was there at the house, and we were all working together on various home improvement projects.  Grandma was bustling about in the background and watching over everyone just like she always did.  Some of my uncles and cousins were in the front yard installing a new decorative brick walkway leading up to the front door.  And I was outside in the back yard helping other relatives tear down some type of wall or fencing.  But here’s where it gets really weird and freaky: When I awoke from that dream and got out of bed, I noticed that I had dirt marks on my right hand!!!

I was immediately baffled by this.  This wasn’t on my hand when I went to bed the night before, and there certainly wasn’t any dirt in my bed that could have gotten on my skin.  I don’t sleepwalk and there was nothing nearby that I could have touched while in my sleep, so where did the dirt marks on my hand come from????  I couldn’t think of anything I could have touched in my sleep that would have left dirt on my skin, and in such weird line marks too!!  Whatever this was, I had to scrub it off my hand with a wet wash cloth.  To this day, I still have no way to explain this.  Although it sounds insane, part of me wonders if I have been traveling somewhere in these vivid dreams where I’m with Grandma.  I’ve done a little reading on the subject of astral projection before.  It’s almost as if I actually did travel back to my family’s house in some other dimension and touched something that got dirt on my hands while working outside in the back yard.  I just really have no explanation for this.

Communicating with the dead is actually something I’ve been involved with for the last 15 years.  Back when I was in college, I did a lot of reading and learning about various types of electrical equipment and techniques to capture images and sounds of spirits.  I’ve done a lot of reading over the years about what signs to look for and how to recognize when a spirit is present.  The university I attended as an undergraduate was notoriously haunted.  It was actually included in a published book of the most haunted schools in my home state!  I conducted a few experiments all over campus using different types of equipment, and I captured some seriously freaky evidence!!  Now that I know Grandma has been coming to me in my sleep, I want to see if I can make contact with her while I am fully awake.  So I’m going to try to get my hands on some electronic equipment again and see what happens.

Some creepy photos of spirit activity I captured in the cemetery next to my university.

I’m so relieved and happy to know that Grandma is still watching out for me from the Other Side and that not even death has kept her from being there for me.  I think the fact that I was so strongly attached to her for my entire life is what has been drawing her to me from the Other Side.  She was more than just a grandparent to me, she was an actual parental figure to me and my brother for the second half of our lives.  She stepped in and took the place of our actual biological mother.  No other deceased relative or friend of mine has ever repeatedly made contact with me like this.  Another part of me wonders if the reason why I’ve so easily been able to meet Grandma halfway on the Other Side so often is because my health is deteriorating and I’m getting closer to the end of my own time here on this physical plane.  But that’s a subject for a whole other blog post at another time.

Thank you for crossing halfway over the bridge to meet with me in my dream state, Grandma.  It really helps me to cope with the painful reality that you are no longer physically here with me.  I miss you so much every single day, and I very much look forward to the day when we will be together all the time again.  In the meantime, I’m trying to do the best I can without you here.  Until we meet again….


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