Deep Thoughts and Wisdom


There are some big changes coming my way this coming year, and I’m so ready for them.

I’ve spent the last four years working as a self-employed independent contractor. It was a nice break after having had such a strict, regimented state government job with a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders for several years. After two years in, I began to grow tired of it and began to yearn for a normal 9-5, W-2’ed job again….but not quite enough to actually make it happen. I knew that when I was finally truly ready deep down to make that change, then I would KNOW it.

That moment came this past summer when my income nearly came to a grinding halt during the dreaded yearly “Summer Slump”. That’s when I KNEW I was good and ready to go back to having a normal job working for someone else. Once I knew in my gut that I was ready, I threw myself into the mission of finding a different line of work. And when I REALLY want something that I know will be a positive thing for me, these things tend to pretty much fall into my lap.

So after the new year, I’ll be working in a law office as a paralegal. I’ll be doing all of the attorneys’ legal research for their cases. I’m sure this will be a good gig for me, but I don’t plan on sticking with it forever. It will be a good job for me to have while I work on getting the job I REALLY want with the Federal Government. Once I secure a position with the Feds, I will work my way up the ladder in my chosen agency and stick with it until I retire. The agency I want to get hired into is HUGE, so there is virtually unlimited room within for career growth and promotion. Besides great pay and great benefits, my other reason for wanting to work at the Federal level is because it would make it easier for me to leave Florida and move to another state if I ever get sick of living here (which I HAVE entertained that thought as of recently). It’s a lot easier to move from one state to another when you already have a job position waiting for you there and your employer assists you with the move.

Securing a job with the Federal government is not easy if you’re a random civilian off the street. You almost need an insider to help get your foot in the door. Fortunately for me, by some sheer, random, divine chance of luck, I just so happened to bump into a stranger a few days ago who IS an insider. He works for the Department of Justice at the US Embassy in Afghanistan. (He showed me his Embassy ID, so I knew he wasn’t pulling my leg.). As soon as he told me what he did for a living, I told him how I wanted to work in one of the related agencies. (For right now, I won’t divulge which agency I’m trying to get into.) We sat and talked at length about my history and my credentials. He said I would be a very good and useful fit for the Department. He asked me if I would be able to pass a thorough FBI security clearance, and I said absolutely yes. So then he took my contact info and promised me that he would put in a good word for me as an insider and told me to watch for an email from someone in the agency after the holidays.

Knowing how unreliable and untrustworthy the vast majority of Floridians are in this part of the state, I won’t completely hold my breath in anticipation as I watch and wait to hear from someone in the agency. But I’m really hoping that this man WAS serious when he told me that he would help sponsor me to get me a job with the Feds. I had been giving this career decision a lot of thought for awhile, and I’m sure it was the energy from all that thinking that manifested into me bumping into this Federal employee by chance. If that’s the case, then I really do hope that something good comes from it. If it leads to nothing, then I still certainly won’t stop working and striving to get a job with the Feds. Government work is what I’ve been the best at, and I think it would be best for me to return to it. This would be a great thing for me, and surely the Universe will deliver it to me if I think on it and work hard enough for it.

If I succeed in getting hired, it’s highly likely that I would be assigned to work in Miami at first. (EWWW!!) But another change that I think needs to happen is a relocation to another area of Florida….and possibly even an entirely different state.

I LOVE living in year-round warm tropical climate right next to the ocean. I wanted this throughout my entire childhood and adolescent years. But there is ONE thing that could drive me to actually give up and leave the tropical climate I waited so long to live in: The toxic people and culture that inhabit this area of Florida. I’ve just about had all I can take of the extreme widespread drug use; the obsession with wealth and image; the complete lack of character, class, honesty, and integrity of 99% of the people I’ve come into contact with here; the untamed immigration; and the daily level of violent crime that saturates this area. The toxicity of this area is literally sucking the life out of me; it’s affecting me in numerous negative ways. It’s most likely due to having been brought up in a more wholesome environment, but I am quickly able to sense toxic people and situations, and I have an instinct that drives me to want to distance myself as far away from them as possible. So I basically walk around SoFla every day feeling as if I am under some sort of constant mental assault and always wanting to keep everyone I encounter at an arm’s length away from me. That’s not exactly a healthy way to live.

My father HATES the fact that I live in Florida, and he keeps asking me if I’m ready to leave yet. And for the last two weeks, I HAVE been giving some serious thought to moving to another state if I can get a job with the Federal Government. But I’ve decided to stick it out in Florida for a little while longer by checking out the west coast of Florida where I hear it is much more friendlier and laid back. I think it would be a good idea to check out some areas like Tampa, Destin, or Clearwater where there are more of my own people from the Midwest. And if the west side of Florida still sucks, then I won’t hesitate to pack up and put in for a job transfer to another state like Washington DC or Virginia. Virginia has a lot of beautiful landscape and colonial history that reminds me of my family, so I think that might be a good choice. I have a good friend who lives in Charlottesville, and she said she would be right there to help me transition if I ever decided to move there.  I would LOVE to work someplace important in D.C. like the Pentagon.  How fucking cool would that be?!?

In the meantime, I’ll try not to dwell on this too much. Whatever is meant to happen will happen when the time is right. But I’m definitely going to keep working to make it happen, just like I worked hard to make my move to Florida happen in the span of only a year. Whenever I have set my mind to accomplishing something, nothing can stop me. I always eventually get what I want.


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