My longtime blog followers may recall a post I wrote long ago about a very disturbed individual I dealt with. This person had (and still has) a textbook case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which sadly is more common throughout the population than we realize. After dealing with this seriously disturbed individual and learning that my own biological mother had a very severe case of this same disorder, I began reading and learning as much about it as I could in order to better understand and deal with it.
If you know much at all about people afflicted with NPD, then you know that they never completely stay away forever. Even if they have no direct contact with you anymore, they still lurk around in other ways and they will always continue to smear your name to everyone else they know. In the two years since I got rid of “Dandy”, I have caught him searching my name online and searching through my Instagram handle activity. What exactly he has been searching for and why, I have no idea, but it definitely creeps me out. And low and behold, last week I caught him talking about me to one of his equally messed up and Narcissistic friends. I refer to the Narcissist as Dandy because he is a dead ringer for the character of “Dandy Mott” from American Horror Story in every way: physical appearance, speech, spoiled pampered life, pretentious attitude, disdain for others he views as “beneath” him or “different” than him, a vengeful temper, etc. The funny thing is that it wasn’t even me who first came up with this comparison of him….someone else whom he had relentlessly bullied noticed the striking similarities between him and Dandy Mott and pointed it out to me, and the nickname stuck.
This particular friend of Dandy’s blocked me on Facebook over a year ago, but I just now discovered that at some point since then she had UNblocked me. I have no idea why she chose to unblock me after all this time, but it was most likely so that she could creep on my Facebook profile, which is utterly weird and creepy in itself. Unfortunately for her, there isn’t much to see on my Facebook page if you aren’t one of my Facebook friends and don’t have any mutual Facebook friends with me, so she’s wasting her time there. But I went ahead and blocked her anyway since she gives me the heebie-jeebies and there is no reason for her to be creeping on my page. But before I blocked her, I noticed an idiotic comment that Dandy had posted on her page about “throwing the mermaids off her trail”. Since EVERYONE knows I am a mermaid fanatic, I instantly knew he was referring to me. (And just for the record, unblocking someone on Facebook isn’t exactly a good way to “throw them off your trail”. Dumbasses.)
Based on all that I have read and learned about Narcissists, it is best to completely ignore any and all of their sneaky little digs and tricks, because they almost always do it on purpose just to get a rise out of their targets. But since it has been TWO YEARS since I cut this psychopath out of my life, I was utterly disgusted and somewhat amused that he is STILL talking about me and that I am still even on his mind at all, and I impulsively decided it was time to tell him to stop. So I logged into another account of mine and sent him a very short and concise message telling him to stop gossiping about me and to just forget that I even exist. Here is a screen shot of the message I sent him:
I also sent him a screen shot of the comment he had posted about me so he would know what I was referring to (although I’m sure he would have known anyway). But Instagram is weird and you have to make sure that the image is in the shape of a perfect square before sending it, so it cut off part of the image. All he did was immediately block me after viewing my message without any response, which is exactly what I expected him to do. Like all other Narcissists, Dandy is a coward and reacts to people pointing out his disturbing behavior and chastising him by hiding from them and blocking them out of sight. (It’s no wonder at all why he is a personal friend of ESPN’s Britt McHenry, since she does the exact same thing!)
But Narcissists are also very vengeful, so later that same day when I arrived home, I found a business card from some police officer tucked inside of my door with a handwritten note on it asking me to call him. I immediately smirked and laughed out loud knowing that Dandy had called the cops on me like a whiny little bitch just because I messaged him to tell him to stop creeping and gossiping about me. He pulled this exact same stunt two years ago when I completely cut off all contact with him and informed his boss at his job about how Dandy had been using the majority of his time at work every day to fart around online and stalk and harass me and others through social media all day long on company time instead of actually working. His boss responded by thanking me for bringing this to his attention and telling me that they did not condone that kind of behavior at their company and that Dandy no longer worked for them, which I assumed to mean that they had let him go. Later that same day, I got a phone call from some police officer wanting to talk to me about “harassing” Dandy because I had reported him to his boss. I simply told that officer all about how Dandy had tormented me and other people on a daily basis for the better part of a year and that I had every right to inform his boss of what he was really doing all day long at work on company time, and then I hung up the phone on him. I was so disgusted that Dandy would stoop that low to throw a temper tantrum by calling the cops on me over being fired for his own misconduct at work and that any police officer would waste their time by even giving an ounce of attention to something so petty.
And now here is another cop wasting his time by giving attention to something as petty and insignificant as a woman telling a creepy dude to go away. I mean seriously, WHO does that??? I’ve personally known several police officers in my lifetime, and every single one of them would have laughed if someone had called them to bitch and complain about something so stupid. And with the extremely high level of crime, drug trafficking, and illegal immigration in south Florida, you would think that the cops here would be far too overburdened with more serious matters to deal with than coddling some spoiled brat rich boy bully throwing a fit because one of his victims told him to fuck off and leave them alone.
I never called the officer who left the card in my door, and I just ripped it up and threw it in the trash. I refused to dignify any of that bullshit nonsense with a single response. That was last Thursday, and then yesterday that same officer CAME BACK to my home and knocked on my door. I was home at the time, but I refused to answer the door. That’s when I realized that this shit had gone far enough, and I contacted a friend of mine who is an attorney, a work colleague of mine who is a veteran police officer down in Broward County, and another friend of mine who works in law enforcement down in Miami-Dade County. Both of the law enforcement men told me that it is not customary at all for an officer to repeatedly come to someone’s home over something as petty as a civil matter like this, especially when no crime has been committed. One of them told me that even the officer calling me on the phone after Dandy was fired was very unusual and that they don’t get involved in such petty matters as that where no crime has been committed. If I had truly harassed or threatened Dandy, then there would be reason for the police to get in touch with me. But simply telling someone to stop smearing your name is NOT harassment. Both men also immediately speculated that Dandy, by virtue of his family’s wealth and prestige, likely has some friends or connections in the local police department, and that one of them is trying to scare me as a favor for Dandy. I would not put it past Dandy at all to throw his weight around to manipulate someone into doing his dirty bidding for him. In fact, I’ve seen him do it before MANY times, and he even once gloated to me that he could manipulate anyone into doing whatever he wanted them to do. I recall about a year ago when some unknown woman repeatedly sent me NASTY text messages after I texted her number by mistake not knowing that the friend I was trying to contact had gotten a new phone number. I finally called the police to see if they could get her to stop, but all they did was just tell me to block her number. So if the police had such a nonchalant attitude when I reported some unknown person repeatedly harassing me through my phone yet are now practically camping outside of my front door just because I told a wealthy socialite bully to fuck off and leave me alone, then you KNOW something fishy is going on here. How pathetic of them to give even a second of their time and attention to pacifying some snotty rich boy brat when they are already overburdened with REAL crimes around here such as murders, the highest level of drug activity in the entire country, and illegal immigration.
Both of my law enforcement friends advised me to just completely ignore it and refuse to answer or talk to whoever comes to my home. My attorney friend told me the same thing and also told me that I could choose to simply tell this rogue officer to speak with my attorney if he has any questions or business regarding me. Unfortunately, this part of Florida is known for having some bad egg police officers. There have been a lot of lawsuits filed against them, and the senseless murder of Corey Jones by an off-duty police officer is still fresh in our community’s memory. So I fully intend to take the advice from all three of these men and do just that: completely ignore this utter bullshit nonsense. I don’t care if that police officer wants to come knocking on my door every single damn day or camp out on my front lawn 24 hours a day, I will NOT acknowledge or dignify this insanity with a single answer or word. I’m leaving town in a few weeks and won’t be back for awhile, so he can stand on my doorstep and knock on my door the entire time I’m gone for all I care. My house sitter Emilie sure as Hell won’t be answering the door for him, either. And if he keeps it up for long enough, then my attorney will be happy to contact his department to file a formal complaint for harassment and misconduct on my behalf, since I’m certain that repeatedly bothering someone at their home over something as petty and noncriminal as telling a bully to go away is against the legal code of conduct for police officers. And if they want to get REALLY nasty about this, then I would be more than willing to join the list of people who are suing them for misconduct.
But all in all, it just absolutely DISGUSTS me that Dandy bullies and terrorizes people while hiding behind his computer like a fucking coward and then has the nerve to retaliate like a whiny little bitch by calling the cops when whomever he is targeting has had enough and calls him out on it. He’s a 32 year old man with the mentality of a five year old brat. He thinks he’s above everyone else and that his shit doesn’t stink just because he went to law school and was born into a very wealthy family with a silver spoon up his ass and grew up in a 20 room mansion. But the REAL truth about this stinking turd is that he has a drinking problem, he can’t hold onto a job for very long, he still lives at home in his parents’ mansion instead of living independently like a normal adult attorney, and he is in the closet and fighting with himself over the fact that he is gay and for whatever reason cannot come out and accept it. Oh sure, he likes to trash my name and tell everyone he knows that I’m some low-life scumbag farm girl from the rural Midwest and that I’m “obsessed with him and in love with him”, but the truth is I’ve been aware of the fact that he’s gay for a very long time. I picked up on it very soon after I first met him and got to know him. And as time goes on, it has become more and more apparent. I literally cringe every time I see a photo of him or a comment he has written, because it’s just so painfully obvious that he’s gay and desperately trying to hide it. I don’t see how he will be able to remain in the closet for much longer. But anyway, I digress. He also constantly acts like a total buffoon and is always trying to garner Narcissistic Supply (attention, validation, admiration) by getting people to laugh at him and tell him how funny he is. Of course, he’s NOT funny at all because it’s quite obvious that he is trying way too hard to be funny. He just comes across as a total fucking IDIOT.
The reason why Dandy looks down his nose at people and bullies and manipulates them is because he KNOWS that he is a worthless piece of shit who has major issues. He isn’t happy with himself or his life, so he shits on other people he views as “beneath” him who are content with themselves and their lives despite not having copious amounts of wealth and social status like he does. Along the same time he was bullying me on a daily basis, he was also tormenting my good friend Hollan, whom he did not even know at all. Hollan was going through a pretty rough period at that time and was dealing with major health issues, depression, and being unemployed. So I guess Dandy, being the predator that he is, decided Hollan would be easy prey to pick from the herd and zeroed in on him to torment him. Despite having never met Hollan in person and knowing very little about him, Dandy relentlessly bullied him on a daily basis while hiding behind his computer, mocked Hollan for being unemployed, and even told Hollan that he was “nothing more than mere amusement for Dandy as he sat bored in his office at his prestigious legal job every day”. But Hollan fought back and put Dandy in his place, and now the joke is on Dandy because Hollan is doing much better now and has a job working as a high school English teacher.
It’s also worth noting that two of Dandy’s own friends no longer have anything to do with him anymore after they learned about what he had been doing to me. So apparently his sneaky, covert Narcissistic bullying and manipulation did not escape everyone’s eyes. And some of his 2,000+ Facebook friends don’t actually like him, either, and are only Facebook friends with him so that they can gawk at his ridiculous posts and behaviors and laugh at him behind his back. So clearly he is not as “popular” and well-liked as he thinks he is. There are a good number of people he mistakenly thinks are friends and admirers of his who are really just keeping a watchful eye on him and his abusive personality and using him for their own amusement. It’s funny how a good number of people are doing exactly to him what he has enjoyed doing to others, isn’t it?
Dandy’s crybaby behavior reminds me so much of my biological mother’s Narcissistic behavior. People with NPD clearly read from the same playbook, because my mother used to pull the exact same stunt on my father, as well as my brother and I when we got older, whenever she didn’t get her way. One example that sticks in my memory is how she would call the police every time my brother and I went to visit our grandparents…the same loving couple I often write about in this blog. My mother absolutely HATED my paternal grandparents with the fiery heat of thousand suns. Grandma and Grandpa never did anything wrong to my mother to warrant her hatred; she simply hated their guts because they saw right through her bullshit and refused to tolerate it or allow her to abuse me or my brother in their presence. When we were little kids, Grandma flat out told my mother, “You may get away with hurting those kids in your own home, but you will NOT do it here in my house!” It is a known fact that Narcissists HATE anyone who can see their true self or won’t put up with their manipulation and abuse. When we were kids, our mother forbade us to see, have any contact with, or even acknowledge our grandparents in public for several years just because SHE hated them. Then when she and my father divorced, my Dad allowed my brother and I to have contact with our grandparents again during our weekend visitations with him. My mother was utterly LIVID with rage when she found this out and jumped on the phone to call the cops on my father for allowing his kids to see their own grandparents. Of course, my mother had no valid or legal reason for keeping us from our grandparents, so the police basically told her to fuck off and get over it. But my point in telling this side story is that Narcissists like Dandy and my mother routinely pull stunts like calling the police every time they don’t get their way or when someone stands up to them.
I can only hope that Karma does her job and comes around to bite Dandy hard in his ass someday soon for all the horrible things he has done to me and other people. I’ve had other bullies before in my lifetime, and I’ve seen a good number of them receive a hefty dose of Karmic payback in time. In fact, two of them literally dropped dead at young ages without any warning at all. And as a practicing Satanist, I have ways of channeling my psychic energy and willing such things to happen on their own. It sounds crazy, but there have been many times when I have been able to will things to physically happen just through intense meditation and channeling of mental energy. (This is really an actual thing, and you can read books on the subject.) So I have no doubt at all that Dandy will one day soon suffer in some way for the awful things he has done to others. In the meantime, here’s a small piece of advice for you, Dandy: Hold off on calling the cops every time someone calls you a doodoo-head and tells you to stop bothering them, because one of these days I’m going to smash your face in and knock all of your teeth out of your mouth and THEN you’ll have a valid reason for calling them. Hell, I’ll even be smiling pretty and giving two thumbs up in my jail booking photo after that!! People like you, Donald Trump, and your buddy Britt McHenry are living proof that you can have all the money and fame in the world and yet still be classless trash. Do the entire world a favor and eat a bullet, “Champ”.