Deep Thoughts and Wisdom, Loss & Grief

The Ugly Truth About Drug and Alcohol Addiction (Part 2)

As I mentioned in my last blog post about a friend of mine who recently died from a drug overdose, I also have another (now former) friend who is still alive but quickly heading towards the same fate.  For the purpose of this blog post, I will refer to her as “Drunky McWasted”.

At only 25 years old, Drunky McWasted already has one foot in her grave.  This girl is in such bad condition that it actually makes me cringe when I look at her.  In the three years that I have known her, I don’t think I have EVER seen her sober.  From what I’ve seen in her Instagram and Facebook posts, she is regularly drunk each morning by 10 AM.  She started drinking heavily as a teenager in her home country of England, starting with lots and lots of beer and then gradually switching to hard liquor.  She drinks hard liquor literally every single day now and has for years.

I met Drunky McWasted through her ex-boyfriend Rob and his best friend Mike.  For a short time, I casually dated their friend Mike and the four of us would sometimes hang out together.  Although I didn’t notice it at first, Drunky McWasted was drunk every time we hung out together.  I guess I didn’t notice it at first because A) I didn’t know her very well at all yet, and B) She had become so accustomed to being drunk all the time that she had learned how to act functional when she was drunk.  My Uncle Frank was an alcoholic for around 30 years, and he, too, was able to function and go about his life while drunk.  After a few months of being around her, I gradually began to notice that she always had an alcoholic beverage in her hand and sometimes she noticeably acted drunk.  Then there was one night when the four of us were gathered at her apartment and I watched her dump a bunch of cocaine onto her coffee table and sniff it all up right off the table with her face like a cat crazily huffing catnip.

There was another incident one weekend where Drunky McWasted went boating with us, and she got so completely wasted as usual that she actually fell off the boat and cut her wrist open on the way down.  So the boating excursion was cut short when she had to be rushed to the emergency room to have several stitches put in her wrist.  She missed severing the major artery in her wrist by mere millimeters.  With all of the blood she lost during that fall into the water, I’m surprised she didn’t attract a shark!!

During the few months that the four of us hung out together, Drunky McWasted and Rob went through a long, drawn out, drama filled break up.  I often listened to Drunky McWasted complain about how Rob was always being mean and controlling to her.  At first, I took her side and sympathized with her, because she had shown me some angry text messages that Rob had sent her, and it did seem to me like he was being a jerk.  But now that I look back on it, Rob was the one I should have sympathized with.  He was dealing with a girlfriend who was never sober and didn’t have much respect for him.  Or herself.  Or anyone else.  She was most likely driving him insane with her self-destructive behavior.

The point when I REALLY realized that Drunky McWasted had a serious drinking problem was when she got completely hammered one night (as usual) and posted over a dozen nasty, hateful comments all over my Facebook wall for no reason at all in the middle of the night.  I woke up the next morning and logged into my Facebook account to find over a dozen notifications and a barrage of horrid comments from her all over my wall and photos that I had to delete.  I was completely shocked at this, because she had never spoken an unkind word to me in all the time I had known her.  When I confronted her about it the next day, she had no memory at all of it.  She laughed about it as if it were nothing more than a minor joke or a prank and tried to offer a half-assed apology for it.  But I wasn’t having any of it.  Her alcoholism had now begun to directly affect ME, and I simply was not going to allow it.  That’s when I got angry with her and told her straight up that she had a serious drinking problem and that she needed to get some help.  I also told her that until she decided to do something about her drinking, I wanted nothing more to do with her.  I promptly blocked her from my Facebook, my Instagram, and my cell phone.

Oh yeah, and about her sniffing cocaine…….A mutual acquaintance of ours soon after revealed to me that she was buying $500 worth of cocaine every week.  He knew this because he was the one she always called up to drive all the way down to Miami and pick it up for her since she is a non-citizen and cannot legally drive here in the US.  Apparently he wasn’t too thrilled about having to drive an hour away to Miami and back every week just to pick up her cocaine for her, but he grudgingly did so because she paid him to.  That’s when I knew that she had some SERIOUS problems and that cutting her out of my life was the best thing to do.  At that point, I was so glad that Rob had finally gotten over her and found himself a much better and SOBER girlfriend, because he was a good guy who didn’t deserve someone like Drunky McWasted dragging him down into the gutter.

Unfortunately, addicts don’t like to be told that they have an addiction and that they need help.  In fact, they HATE it.  They hate it because they know they have a problem, but they do not want to face it.  When you point out to an addict that they have an addiction problem, that’s when the extreme denial and rage comes out.  And that’s exactly what happened with Drunky McWasted.  As soon as I told her that she had a problem and needed help, she immediately turned on me.  She went from being a sweet girl to unleashing all of her rage at me.  I suppose I could understand why she would be so angry at me for hitting her with the cold hard truth, but what surprised and irritated me even more was that several of our mutual friends also turned against me for it!!  Several of them stopped speaking to me and told me “Why would you call her an alcoholic and a drug addict?!  That’s just mean and I’m sure she doesn’t appreciate that.”  Ummmm, HELLO?!?!?  LOOK AT HER!!!  You guys are around her all the time, you all see that she is ALWAYS drinking, and you guys are always joking about how drunk she gets.  So how the Hell can you NOT notice that she has a serious problem?!??  I called her an alcoholic and a drug addict because she IS one!!  Am I really the only one here who is looking at this with my eyes fully open??

To this date, it’s been almost three years since I told Drunky McWasted that she needed to seek help for her alcohol and drug addiction, and she is STILL raging mad at me about it.  The fact that she’s still butthurt about it after three whole goddamn years only proves that my statements to her really got under her skin because she knows it is the absolute truth.  There have been a few times since then when I have run into her out in public somewhere, and she was literally so drunk and high that she didn’t even recognize me!!!  I recently ran into her a few weeks ago, and although she had a drink in her hand and was drunk as usual, she was still sober enough to know who I was.  And the first thing that came out of her mouth to me was more butthurt anger over me telling her the truth three years ago.  She actually said to me, “You have some nerve coming around here, girl.  How dare you call me an alcoholic and a coke head!!  You’re not very well liked around here, so you need to stay away from here.

OK, I’m going to share a monumental, earth-shattering, ingenious revelation with you:  If you don’t want to be called an alcoholic or a coke-head, then maybe you should….you know….not get drunk every single day and snort $500 of cocaine up your nose every week….DUUUHHHH!!!!  That should be a pretty simple concept to figure out, you’d think.  Seriously, this girl laughs and BRAGS ALL THE TIME about how drunk she always is, and her Instagram account looks like it belongs to Lindsey Lohan, and yet she’s pissy that someone has noticed this well enough to tell her that she has a drinking problem?!?  The hypocrisy with this is just too much for me.

Another wacky incident that proved to me how unstable and eratic Drunky McWasted is was when she suddenly announced that she was getting married.  She and Rob had only been broken up for a month or less, and then suddenly she was “engaged” to another man none of us had ever heard of before and planning a bachelorette party.  I saw her out on the night of her bachelorette party, completey white girl wasted as usual, and apparently she was in a foul mood because hardly anyone had shown up for her bachelorette party.  That’s probably because everyone likely found it weird and inappropriate that she had just broken up with her boyfriend and was now “engaged” to a guy she barely knew.  In fact, these two never even dated each other!  It was literally like they were two strangers who just suddenly decided to marry each other.  There was no actual wedding ceremony, just a marriage license from the state of Florida.  Here’s where it got even weirder:  Drunky McWasted never called her new spouse by his name.  Ever.  She always referred to him as “Husband”.  And they didn’t live together in the same house, either.  The marriage lasted about a year and then they divorced.  I later learned that this “marriage” was nothing more than a paper marriage she had orchestrated in order to try to get a Green Card so that she could stay in the US permanently.  And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if this fake “husband” of hers was also supplying her with drugs.

Paper marriages are very common in south Florida.  Undocumented aliens and foreigners who are here temporarily on work permits commonly arrange these fake paper marriages with US citizens in order to try to gain citizenship here.  These marriages merely exist on paper, and the married couples often don’t live in the same residence and have no type of romantic relationship with each other.  (And people actually think that gay couples are the ones ruining the idea of marriage???)  Drunky McWasted is a British citizen from London, and she has a work permit that allows her to work and live here in the US for nine months at a time.  But at the end of the nine month period, she must return to England for at least three months before being allowed to renew her work permit and return to the US.  This may sound a little evil, but I’ve actually been thinking about getting out of the self-employment business and applying for a job position with the Department of Homeland Security so that I can go back to working in government again.  And if I ever succeed in getting hired, the first thing I’m going to do is see to it that Drunky McWasted is sent back to England and is not allowed to return here to the US.  She really doesn’t need to be here, and she isn’t serving much of a purpose here or contributing anything of positive value to our society here since she’s nothing but a raging alcoholic and a drug addict.

Truth be told, everything about Drunky McWasted disgusts me.  But at the same time, I do feel some concern for her, because I know for a fact that she will not live to see her 30th birthday.  Her daily life anymore appears to be a blur, as she often remarks to people that she has no recollection of what she did or where she went the previous day.  Even if she does make it another five years to her 30th birthday, she’s going to be in BAD shape by then.  By filling her body with alcohol and drugs every day for the last seven years, she is going to quickly age prematurely and develop all kinds of health problems.  But most likely, she will one day soon meet with Death when she mixes alcohol with cocaine one too many times just like my friend Sara did.  And seeing how very popular pills are with south Floridian drug users, I’d say the odds are very high that she is also abusing pills like Xanax or Adderall just like the majority of south Floridians do, and that will definitely end her life young just like it did to Sara.  It seems to me that she does this to herself because she hates herself and is trying to mask something painful in her life that she can’t deal with.  I don’t know that for certain and I have no idea what could be bothering her that badly, but it’s just a strong vibe that I get from her.

I don’t really harbor any hatred or anger towards Drunky McWasted.  Rather, I just look at her and shake my head and think to myself with absolute certainty that she won’t be alive much longer.  There is no way she will live to an old age at the rate she’s going.  Even when she spews anger and hatred at me anymore, I just shake my head and let it roll right off of me because I know that is her addiction speaking.  I’m not going to get in any battles with her when I know that she is only going to be alive for a few more years at the most.  She may snarl at me that I’m a horrible person whom everyone hates, but I just half smile and think to myself, “That’s OK, because I’m going to outlive you.  I’ll still be here when you suddenly drop dead.”  I took a lot of flak from people when I first told her that she had substance abuse issues, but I think more and more people are starting to see the truth now.  And I tell everyone the same thing:  She is quickly destroying herself and her days are numbered.  One of these days soon she is going to have an overdose and not wake up.  She will die all alone in this country with all of her family 3,000 miles away across the Atlantic Ocean, and they’ll have to ship her dead body back to England….or else the state will have to just anonymously cremate her without any funeral since there will be no one here to claim her body.  She will join the growing list of friends and people I have personally known who have died young from drugs.  And there’s nothing that any of us can do about it, because she is choosing to be this way.  I tried to help her, but she shoved me away and spits venom at me whenever she sees me anymore.  So I’m done with her, and she’s not my problem anymore.

It’s a sad and cringe-worthy thing to watch, but experiences like this only serve to teach me what NOT to do and which people I need to steer clear of.  I can only wonder how many youthful drug-related deaths it’s going to take before young people around here finally wake up and take the hint that drug and alcohol addiction are a death sentence.  My Uncle Frank lost his life to alcoholism and serious health problems resulting from it.  Several of my friends have died in their youth from drug overdoses.  And now I’m preparing to watch another former friend suddenly die the exact same way.  And when it inevitably happens, all I will be able to do is say “I told you so.

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