Not only am I one of the rare few women in SoFla who hasn’t had any plastic surgery, but apparently I’m also one of the few women around here who actually works and supports myself instead of mooching off of a rich man. And that shocks and appalls me as much as the plastic surgery issue does.
It’s always such a disappointment whenever I meet new single women who live in these fabulous sky rise condos or mansions, and I assume that they are successful career women and think to myself “Oh wow, here’s another kickass woman who works hard and has her shit together like me; we should totally network and become friends!!“……and then I discover that they don’t actually work and their fabulous homes belong to some guy they’re sleeping with. And then I quickly distance myself from them lest any of their bad decisions might rub off on me.
To this day, I still can’t get over the reactions people have when I tell them I work and support myself. I’ve had so many people–both women and men–ask me “How do you afford your own place?” “Who pays for your car?” Invariably, when I stare at them in dumbfounded confusion and answer “Uhhhhh….I do. I work and pay my own rent and my own car payments.“, the look of shock and disbelief on their faces never ceases to amaze me. They literally cannot believe that I–a woman–has a job and takes care of myself. And when I tell them that I run my own business and that I have a college degree and used to work for the government for five years, then they react as if I were God Herself.
If I were living in Chicago or NYC, nobody would give a second thought about me working and supporting myself. It would be expected that a single woman like myself had a college degree, a job, and supported herself. But here in SoFla, every woman is looking for the easy route. They’re all looking for sugar daddies and rich boyfriends to support them so they can spend all their time lounging by the pool, going shopping, partying, doing cocaine, and taking hundreds of duckface selfies every day. And the laziness among the female population is so prevalent here in SoFla that every woman is presumed to be an unemployed gold digger. In fact, I’ve had many first few dates with SoFla men where they heavily interrogated me about my personal finances and I had to go out of my way to prove to them that I am financially self-sufficient and not looking to use them as a meal ticket. And that’s just….SAD.
Upon learning that I’m a regular Working Jane, a lot of women advise me that I should take the easier route and just find myself a rich boyfriend or sugar daddy instead of working my ass off. Right, so I can be forced to have sex with and be at the mercy of the whims of a man I’m not even physically attracted to let alone in love with? No thanks. Sure I have days where business is slow and I’m low on money, but I’d much rather ride it out through the rough days than try to stomach having sex with some wrinkled old geezer on Viagra in exchange for having my bills paid (which would technically be prostitution). I honestly don’t know how all these women are able to do it!! I mean, I love money just as much as anyone else, but not enough to touch wrinkled old dick. I guess financial desperation can make people do anything.
I’ve had plenty of rich older men tell me to quit my job and let them take care of me or offer to take me out shopping, and my eyeballs can’t keep from nearly rolling out of my head before they’ve even finished speaking. I didn’t spend years of studying and thousands of dollars to get my college degrees and professional licenses just to then sit on my ass and let someone else support me as if I were a child. Once I had some rich old married man even tell me “You can keep your boyfriend, I don’t care. But let me take care of you and and spoil you.” UGH!! How pathetic. Dude, why don’t you just staple a sign to your forehead that says in big letters “I’m very lonely and desperate”? I make plenty of money on my own; I don’t need any man to take me shopping. If there’s something I want, I can go and buy it myself, thank you very much.
There’s a very good reason why I choose to work and be financially independent, and it’s not just because that’s the Midwest work ethic I was raised with: I support myself in order to protect myself. I have seen and known far too many women who were 100% financially dependent on a man and then suddenly found themselves penniless, homeless, and up a shit creek when the guy suddenly ditched them for whatever reason. (Spoiler alert: A lot of those women I met who were unemployed and shacking up in some rich guy’s million dollar home ended up having to find another place to live when the guys eventually got tired of them or found someone else…..and then they were begging me to let them move into MY place for awhile. [Oh Hell NO!!!]). Even being married to a guy you’re completely dependent on is no guarantee that he will take care of you for the rest of your life, as this poor woman found out the hard way. And if you’ve got kids to take care of too, then that just makes the situation a hundred times worse. I’ve known plenty of married women who used to brag about being stay-at-home mothers and are now having to go back to school and try to enter the workforce later in life because they’re fighting with their husbands for the umpteenth time and facing impending divorce. The 1950’s are over, and so are the days of women being delicate little flowers who spend their lives keeping house while the men take care of them. Deal with it. Nowadays women have to stand up and take care of outselves instead of expecting anyone else to do it for us. These days we’ve got to look out for ourselves and our own best interests.
As long as I live in my own home, drive my own car, and pay my own bills, I am at the mercy of no one. I don’t have to worry about suddenly becoming homeless when the fuckboy whose house I’m squatting in suddenly kicks me to the curb. I don’t have to put up with abuse or disrespectful treatment from a man just so that he’ll continue to put a roof over my head and feed me. I’m in 100% control over my own life because I bring home the money and control the purse strings. And I will never have it any other way. I also feel a huge sense of pride and accomplishment when I look around at my beautiful home, my car, and all of the other nice things I have and know that it was all done by ME.
But to be fair, it’s no longer only women who aspire to be unemployed gold-diggers living the high life on a wealthy man’s dime. More and more men are starting to do this shit, too. As a woman who makes plenty of my own money and has my shit together, I’ve had my share of young men try to use me as their Sugar Mama with dreams of living in my home and laying on my couch playing video games and smoking weed all day. One of my exes here in Florida turned out to be one of those guys. After two attempts at being together, he finally realized that I expect him to stand on his own two feet and that I will NEVER mollycoddle him like his wealthy parents have. So he went and began “dating” a wealthy, rapidly aging 50-something-year-old divorcee who had way too much plastic surgery, was in the midst of a nasty little midlife crisis, and apparently wanted to be a stripper. No seriously, this woman in her 50’s actually goes out in public dressed in those skimpy spandex stripper gowns and the super high clear platform stripper shoes. You just can’t make this stuff up. LOL! Eventually she caught on that this shiftless bum young enough to be her own son was just using her for her money and dumped him, but not before she had already spent about $60,000 buying him his own (crappy) apartment on the Intercoastal. Sucks to be you, lady, live and learn!!
And I’ve heard stories about LOTS of women who date and live with these lazy unemployed bums and work their asses off to support them and their children. I’m always hearing women mention how their unemployed car-less boyfriends drive them to work in THEIR own cars (the women’s cars) and drop them off so they can drive around in their girlfriends’ cars all day doing nothing of any use or importance while the women are hard at work at their jobs. These women work their asses off while these no-good loser boys spend their money, squat in their homes, eat all of their food, and take resources that should be going towards these women’s children. WTF is that nonsense?!?! First of all, nobody drives around in my car but ME. Second, no man gets to live in my home unless we have been dating for several years or are engaged to be married. And third, I refuse to even date a man who doesn’t have a job, his own place, or his own car. Unless you have four legs and are covered in fur or I pushed you out of my vagina, I will not financially support you!
So I’m going to take the same route with this as I do with the plastic surgery issue: I’m going to proudly be the 0.00001% of the female population in SoFla who does things my own way and marches to the beat of my own drum rather than following the crowd.